Last week my ex-partner visited. We were drinking coffee, chatting about old times, laughing at inside jokes, and suddenly we both started crying.
The reason for our tears was the realization that we still loved each other.
We broke up one year ago, but our 5-year-relationship was so intense and beautiful that it’s still hard to let go. We know, however, giving it another try wouldn’t work out for various reasons.
But this story is not about my past relationship. It is about how my boyfriend’s words transformed my perspective on love.
While lying in my ex-partner’s arms, I asked…
Intimacy and sex are not the same things.
We can have sex with a person we don’t care about. We can spend time with our families without having emotionally intimate conversations and encounters. Actually, we never have to be intimate with anyone.
The thing about intimacy is that it is scary because we allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We may feel exposed, insecure, and terrified. The other person could hurt us deeply because we shared personal information and actions with them.
So why should we ever let intimacy into our lives? Especially when it comes to sex?
When I broke up with my boyfriend after a happy 5-year relationship I was not too fond of the thought of being single again.
I didn’t leave him because I wanted to be alone. I quit the connection because I knew I’d be happier without him, even though this step was the hardest decision I’ve ever made.
So I moved out and found an apartment just for myself. Here I was. Alone. And I knew I wouldn’t be ready to date another man for a long time.
“Lower your head and imagine a staircase,” Christina, my psychotherapist, said. “You feel your steps. You hear your steps, you inhale and exhale and come to a deep state of relaxation…”
I traveled back to my past. I was four years old and found myself in an uncomfortable situation with my parents. While having dinner, my mum told us our dad was having an affair. Our grandparents were sitting at the table as well, and everyone was acting strangely.
Back then, I couldn’t understand this situation, but profound insecurity emerged inside me. …
If you’re drawn to this article, I’ll assume you’re very likely an empathetic person who possesses a high level of emotional intelligence. You crave human connection and strong bonds in your life, and that’s a beautiful trait you shouldn’t be ashamed of.
But, as an empath, you are at risk of attracting narcissists.
Why? Because you are the perfect target.
You are a good listener, and you can give someone attention for an extended time. In the first phase of dating a narcissist, you become overwhelmed by all the love he gives you. …
When I was younger, I didn’t know a healthy relationship needed boundaries, compromises, and commitment.
I rushed into relationships when I fell for a man and felt comfortable in his presence. I didn’t even think about what kind of standards and values were important to me.
When something bothered me, I told myself: “Well, that’s just how he is, and I have to live with it.”
I secretly started to watch Sex and the City when I was ten years old.
My elder sister was a huge fan and collected all the seasons in her bedroom. When she wasn’t there, I sneaked in, stole her DVD’s and watched episode after episode. I started listening to four women talking about blowjobs, penises, and cosmopolitans at this young age.
Almost twenty years later, after watching all seasons again, I realized most conversations, attitudes, and messages are anti-feminist and stereotypical.
Meanwhile, SATC has a significant impact on how women see themselves and others. Using the series as a messenger…
“Does he listen to Adele because he thinks of the evening we went to her concert a few years ago?” I’m asking myself while sitting on my computer and starring at his Spotify record.
He listened to this song 4 hours ago, which means he went to bed pretty late. Did he lie in his bed and think of me all night, or did the song randomly occur in one of his playlists?
These kinds of obsessions determined my lonely post-break-up-Covid19-lockdown-phase. …
When my ex-boyfriend and I opened our romantic relationship after two and a half happy years, I was 100% sure that nothing could separate us.
We wanted to give each other the possibility to explore our sexuality alone and grow as a couple. To me, having an open relationship was the best way to live a free life in a loving relationship without feeling locked up or limited. I was convinced that it would make our love more vital and exciting. I wasn’t afraid that we would lose each other by having sex with different people.
Last year, after a…
Here I am. Sitting in my living room, on my computer, waiting for my current quarantine to be over. Ten days alone in my apartment. Again.
As a school teacher who is single and lives alone during a pandemic, I spent a remarkable amount of time in solitude in my flat during the past 12 months. In total, I was quarantined 5–6 times (I stopped counting) because of various reasons. Additionally, I’m not allowed to meet many people. During strict lockdowns, I’m permitted to meet one person (or one household) at most. …